Confessions of a realist

•October 6, 2011 • 2 Comments

Forgive me, Father. It’s been five weeks since my last confession.

Oh who am I kidding?! I was never Catholic!

Anywhosit…sorry abou that. I was (gasp) working at the awesometastic Proofreading job constantly. Before that project ended, I worked something like twelve straight days with only one day off.

Needless to say, I was a bit retarded when it was over, and took a bit of a mental break….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I adore that job though?! Unfortunately, the project I was working on ended, and now I’m on call again. 😦

Although I did manage to get a TON of hours in during my stint, and found out (once I got my first paycheck) that I was making pretty good money doing that?!


Meanwhile, I’m battling with DHS to get qualified for food stamps…ugh…

I loathe even applying for charity, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do! And I love food. Also cooking.

Alas, I digress…

Just this week, I started an internship at an awesome Advertising company here in Portland!

I’m their Marketing/Social Media guru, which is utterly ironic if you know my history with the big, bad corporate job…

(Hint: I got canned for using Social Media…) 😛

TAKE THAT?! (Note: you can’t see this, but I’m flipping off THE MAN.)

Anywhosit…I LOVE it! It’s a small office, but filled with fun, interesting people, and much laughter. 🙂

(Side note: the BF just started the drum machine & his guitar. This might detract from the train of thought I had going…)

Um………………………….what was I saying???

Right! More random updates?!

On the writerly front, I have cover art!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!


I’m going to post it over on my Random Musings blog later. Maybe today, maybe in 6 weeks….KIDDING!!! It’s awesome! 🙂

Now I just have to get all my poetry together in a more cohesive format, decide what order to put it in (I know the 1st three…), and send it off to my Indie Publishing Gurus, Jinx and Sharon at Running Ink Press.

Oh…..and write another book review for Susan Bischoff…cuz Heroes ‘Til Curfew was THE BOMB!

Anyway…the incessant whacking of the fake spare drum is rotting my brain…

chee chee WHACK! chee chee WHACK! chee chee WHACK! chee chee WHACK!



People are going to pay me to use my brain.

•August 31, 2011 • 1 Comment

Well since it’s the last day of August and I’ve only posted twice this month, I thought I’d let you in my little happy: I AM WORKING TODAY!!!!! *squee*

Cue happy dance…

As many of you know, I got the QC/Proofreading gig, but it’s on-call. Heck, I don’t even know what the pay is?!

And frankly, I don’t care.

It’s the first time anyone has ever paid me to use my brain, doing the detail-oriented shit I love.

And I can’t wait! 🙂

Unfortunately, the job is in Vantucky…

But for THAT job, I don’t mind taking the bus forever. That’s why they invented headphones.

Plus, I have an awesome book to finish reading…check it.

A Thread of Grace

So anywhosit…I’m gonna go get pretty and work!


The Highs and Lows of Job Hunting

•August 20, 2011 • 1 Comment

I swear, job hunting is one big screaming rollercoaster ride.

The curves.

The flips.

The creepy things slithering from out of nowhere, seeming to grab you and pull you into their own personal Hell.

You just never know.

Every time I come back from an interview, everyone asks, “How did it go?”

“Um…good I guess?”

How does one gauge these things?

I figure, if I did my research into said company, asked pertinent questions, and managed not to throw up all over the HR Manager, then it went well….right?

Hell if I know?!

Then the waiting game begins…

And you obsessively check your inbox. (for the “Thank you, but…”)

And you jump every time you hear your ringtone. (Please don’t be a damned telemarketer…)

And even when you think you’re a shoe-in…you still don’t get the job?!

You do all the right things: thank you emails, call backs to check in, praying to the Goddess of Fortune…

I’ve even been told that I should “dummy-down” my resume…

As in leave off my college education…


Apparently, you’re not allowed to actually be smarter than the person hiring you…

It’s frustrating to say the least.

Yet, I keep plugging away…

Because somewhere, somehow, I know there’s a job out there for me.

Alas, on a happier note, I’ve been painting.

No, not like Picasso.

More like Sesame Street.

I’ve been painting and cleaning up an apartment in preparation for new tenants, and DAMN! It’s hard, physical labor, and I’m apparently out of shape. It’s getting better though. At least today, I can walk and feel my right arm. Plus, with the money I’ve made, I can pay my internet and phone bills. All extremely important to one searching for a job.

Also, I’ve got three interviews set up for next week, thus far, so I’m mostly just trying to be hopeful.

Something’s got to give.


•August 9, 2011 • 3 Comments

Sorry, dear Readers. I’ve been MIA.

On purpose.

Way too much drama bullshit crap has been going on in my life, and I need a major time-out.

Like of biblical proportions.

I’ve even (gasp) been neglecting Facebook?!

So if you see me on there, it’s mostly automatic posts from blogs I follow, which I’d like to share, or my status updates from Goodreads.

I may be on Twitter sporadically, but mainly, I need to focus.


And stop screwing around on social media.

I need to find a job.

Like yesterday.

And the time I waste blogging or facebooking should really be spent job hunting.

I’m averaging about 10-15 apps per day, and I’m lucky if I get even one interview a week…

The market sucks big-time these days.


I swear, I’m gonna end up working at Taco Bell or something…


So, needless to say, I’m taking some time off from the fluff.

Feel free to email me if you want…

I check that obsessively! 🙂

Wish me luck!

Fire Walk With Me

•July 31, 2011 • Leave a Comment

So I’ve been a little obsessed lately. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve converted my friend into a Twin Peaks addict. 🙂

I’ve loved the show since it first came out in the 90’s. Cuz I’m weird like that.

Plus, David Lynch is a freaking God! No? Well, he’s super-intelligent and perhaps mildly psychotic?! And I love it.

For my first few years in the internet world, I used that picture above as my avatar. Mostly because I refuse to use the cheesy picture-taken-in-the-bathroom-mirror-with-my-cell-phone picture.

Also, I’m paranoid.

I’ve had many guesses as to just what that picture is….

A flower?

A teapot?

Dudes…it’s a dead Laura Palmer’s upside-down face. All cropped and shit.

Since then, I’ve changed my avatar, but those of you that know me from back in the Writer’s Cafe days will remember that one. I think it was even my Twitter avatar for a bit?

Alas, I digress….

I’ve hooked another fan, and last night, we finished season 2. With a terribly creepy ending…

Come to discover this morning that there is no season 3…oopsy…

I told him he simply has to watch Fire Walk With Me, because whilst running away from home, and packing random clothes, I still managed to grab that DVD.

Cuz I’m weird like that. 😉

And so I’ll leave you with a bit of craziness…welcome to my world.

Bare with me…

•July 28, 2011 • 2 Comments

Seriously folks….

I’ve been insanely busy for an unemployed woman?!

Who’d a thunk?

If it’s not the almost constant search for a decent, or even indecent job, it’s trying to reconnect with my life that I’ve apparently lost, or playing phone tag with a potential interviewer…

Some of these actually appear promising, but I’m not getting my hopes up.

Well, at least not too up.

I don’t need the crash back down to reality right now.

But dudes?!

I’ve been writing! 🙂

A lot! 🙂

So head on over to Random Musings, and check out my process of grieving.

Some of it’s crap…

And some of it’s awesome.

I don’t know.

All I know is, my crazy has began again…

So until later, have a good evening y’all! *hugs*

Happy Anniversary?

•July 25, 2011 • 2 Comments

Not so much…

I’ll admit it. I wasn’t even going to post today because honestly, I have absolutely nothing positive to say.

I’m spiraling down into that dark place: depression, anxiety, complete and utter sadness.

But ironically, I’m due for a post.

And I must force myself to write.

Whether or not I feel like it. Such is the life of a writer.

I actually wrote a poem last night, but I can’t decide what to do with it. It needs help. It was simply raw emotion pouring out, and I try to camouflage myself a bit more.

Today is our anniversary. I think…5 years.

5 years wasted.

5 years of learning how to live.

I am an emotional whirlwind right now.

I apologize to anyone who’s had to deal with me lately.

Just give me some space, and let me cry.

Because I have to. These emotions were bound to come out at some point, and I understand that’s it’s all part of the healing process, but crying makes me feel weak. I loathe it.

I am so freaking tired of feeling this way.

I’ll get over it.


And on that note, I’m going shoe shopping with my Dad.

Because all my boots decided to fall apart at once.

Here’s to hoping this makes me feel better.

PS: Dad – Sorry if I’m a bummer today. 😉