Swallowing my pride.
I have never been good at asking for help. In fact, I’m usually more of a suffer-in-silence kind of girl, with a nasty independent streak. And normally, I’m okay with that. I embrace my strength, even thrive on it. I’d like to think I get that from my grandmother.
These last few months have forced me to swallow my pride, and turn to those I love for assistance and support. Yet even still, I am surprised at other people’s generosity, hope, and forgiveness. I always knew just how lucky I was to have such a spectacular family, and it seems I have extraordinary friends as well. Like I said in my post on Monday, A brief note of gratitude, I am constantly amazed and blessed to have all of you in my life, even those of you whom I have never met.
If you know me, I am an obsessive stat-junkie/checker, and seriously folks, over 70 people per day looking at my blog?!
Wow…floored I am.
And I love you too. ;)
And here I go getting all emotional and whatnot….
Alas, I digress….my goal today was simply to give y’all a bit of an update, since my last few posts have not been very forthcoming.
Goal #1: find somewhere to store my crap, because I have to get my things out of that house. And the sooner the better. I need to cut ties, as it is too painful for me to have to deal with going over there every few days to pick things up. Sunday night, I went to pick up some stuff, and the house was in shambles, it smelled horrid, and the kitties had barely any food. :(
I simply cannot deal with that.
All this after the 7 drunken-abusive voicemails, paired with about 14 text messages from the previous night, nearly sent me over an emotional edge. Then I found out he called my parents too?! *gets all attitude-girl* NO ONE MESSES WITH MY FAMILY! No one. I am trying very hard to be strong through this, to not cave in, because I can’t. And I won’t. No matter what. Besides, I’ve had numerous friends tell me they’d beat me up, tie me down, and stone me before they’d let me go back. That’s enough motivation for me. ;)
FYI: my eyes turn a lovely shade of greenish-blue when I cry or get angry. :)
Goal #2: Get a job. Any job. Seriously. Yesterday, I interviewed for a progressive political campaign thing, and besides the canvassing aspect, it actually looks like something I would appreciate a lot more than just working for THE MAN. So, that’s hopeful. Still looking though. Can’t put all my eggs in one basket.
Goal #3: Find a place to live, or more appropriately, find a room to rent in someone’s house. Cuz, ya know, I am broke, and will probably end up working for peanuts.
Good news, though?! I’ve had an offer for goals 1 and 3, provided I can find a job. Or at least come up with a chunk of money to give her, so I can move in. Another plus? It’s in my neighborhood! Now some of you may be thinking, why would I want to stay in this hood when the ex-BF lives here too? Because it is my community too! I’ve lived here for five years, and I have a close group of friends here, who are supportive and genuinely care about me. Plus, it’s straight-up an awesome neighborhood! It kind of reminds me of Eugene. :)
Plus, this lady/potential roomie has kitties! *happy dance* Often, animals make me happier than people. Most people anyway. ;)
Alas, I am procrastinating again, because here is where I swallow my swollen pride, and ask for help.
This is very difficult for me. I loathe asking for help, but it is necessary right now. As I was milling this idea around in my mind, I realized how simple it truly is. If you read my other blog, you may remember back in April, a group of writers and editors that all banded together to raise money to keep Cher & her husband from losing their home. (Fellow writer in need. Step up.) They needed to raise $1K. At the time, I was nearly broke, but managed to donate $20. Not much, but it was worth more than that to me. These were people I’d known for years, and Cher is one of the truest souls around. And guys? WE DID IT! :) The whole experience was so heart-warming and real. Imagine: people you’ve never met, giving you any extra money they have to help?! We saved their home! for me, it was such a honest display of online community and friendship. I am still floored.
So, I was thinking/stressing/pondering…if I could get a mere $10 from my dear Readers, I could easily have enough money to move, and maybe even pay my phone bill?! $10 is not a lot. A couple of foofy coffees…a few beers…the price of a movie ticket?!
So, if you’re so inclined, I’d be forever grateful. Need any editing or proofreading done? I do that! :)
Donations can be made at my PayPal Account: cgrady42(at)yahoo(dot)com. Or if you’re family, just send it to my parents?! Speaking of….I’ve been waiting for over an hour for my mother to get off the phone…..lol.
And with that, I’m gonna go scrape my pride back up off the floor, and leave you with The Beatles. Enjoy. :)
~ by christel42 on July 20, 2011.