Happy Anniversary?

Not so much…

I’ll admit it. I wasn’t even going to post today because honestly, I have absolutely nothing positive to say.

I’m spiraling down into that dark place: depression, anxiety, complete and utter sadness.

But ironically, I’m due for a post.

And I must force myself to write.

Whether or not I feel like it. Such is the life of a writer.

I actually wrote a poem last night, but I can’t decide what to do with it. It needs help. It was simply raw emotion pouring out, and I try to camouflage myself a bit more.

Today is our anniversary. I think…5 years.

5 years wasted.

5 years of learning how to live.

I am an emotional whirlwind right now.

I apologize to anyone who’s had to deal with me lately.

Just give me some space, and let me cry.

Because I have to. These emotions were bound to come out at some point, and I understand that’s it’s all part of the healing process, but crying makes me feel weak. I loathe it.

I am so freaking tired of feeling this way.

I’ll get over it.

Eventually.

And on that note, I’m going shoe shopping with my Dad.

Because all my boots decided to fall apart at once.

Here’s to hoping this makes me feel better.

PS: Dad – Sorry if I’m a bummer today. ;)

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~ by christel42 on July 25, 2011.

2 Responses to “Happy Anniversary?”

  1. *holds out hand to help you up* This is what a dear friend does for me when I fall into the well. *hugs* I’m here if you need to talk, chica.

  2. I’m sure you wrote most of these in a not so happy mood… don’t know if you even care about anybody liking them at all… but liked your writings a lot… very raw n very pure emotions…

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